The Voice
by timmydog34
Summary: An AU involving a delightfully insane Lightning and a concerned sister as her morality slowly weavers. Slightly dark themes
1. Chapter 1

**So after finishing the last story I got in the mood to write another AU but this one is gonna be from Lightning's pov**

**So without further a due time for the obligatory I don't own final fantasy Square Enix does.**

**xXx**

Chapter 1: The Voice

As my eyes shot open dreading the day to come. It was always the same. I'll get up make breakfast for Serah, mom and the bastard known to the people of New Bodhum as the prestigious writing genius Cyril Farron then I would lock myself into my room and try to ignore that annoying voice.

Once I was done making the food Serah was the first to come into the room. "Good morning Claire." It was always the same. The only difference was the voice came early today. **'Serah is always a nice girl… maybe you could spare her. Hell I'll even let your moral compass decided on your mother but you really need to kill Cyril. Or at least give him a NICE. BIG. CHESHIRE. GRIN.'**

"No, no, no you're not meant to come out right now!" running my hands through my hair and pounding my head, Serah came running over and holding me while I was in the fettle position, I didn't even realise I collapsed. "She is back isn't she Claire? Don't listen to her. She will always mislead you and try to taint you further." I knew she was right, hell if Serah wasn't my voice of reason I would have fallen a lot further.

'**Ohhh sharp as a tack like always. That is why I like her. But who are you going to listen to, your true self or your goody two shoes sister? Hmmm you know the favourite. The only one who your dad would ever miss, maybe you should give him reason for concern. What's a broken arm you have already had a few? Granted they were to get me to shut up but we both know how that turned out.' **She never until recently began to threaten Serah, ever since she learned that Serah was starting to suppress her.

I shot up and quickly pushed past Serah I can't let her get hurt, but something was holding me back. I looked around and saw that she was clinging onto my wrist. "Please Claire say something to me. You never say anything to anyone except her. At least say 'hi' or something to me." She was pleading, I always hate it when she gave me that look but I needed to get away from her or I may be tempted further and I don't want to injure her again. "I'm sorry Serah but I need to get back to my room or she'll get more persistent. I don't want to hurt you." I was starting to feel the tears building up, but I made a promise long ago to never let her see me cry. I pulled my wrist from her and ran to my room and locked the door.

My mom must have heard some of this as I passed her to storming to my room, she always had that worried look on her face when she heard me and Serah talk like that, but my mom's face was the least of my concern. **'Come on, at least stab someone a little. You're no fun ever since you accidently hit Serah and broke her collarbone. Boohoo what about me I have needs too.' **

"YOU JUST WANT TO SEE ME SUFFER DON'T YOU?!" The only solace my awful father gave me was letting me lock my door when she came out and wanted me to harm anyone. So I slumped against the door and began to hit my head trying to get her to shut up. **'Oh come off it now, I don't want to watch YOU suffer I want to watch EVERYONE suffer. I want to watch their faces as they see the end of their pitiful existence and if you suffer than that is just icing on the cake.'** Why did she have to always punctuate things like that giggling? Why does she want me to suffer?

There was a soft knock on my door. "Light honey, are you okay?" my mom was always so sweet she always tried to make the voice go away. **'Go on tell her to screw off and leave you alone.' **"Mom, I'm fine I'm just feeling a little under the weather that's all." I knew that she knew it was a lie but I also knew she wouldn't push me to talk about _her_. "Okay honey, remember if you need to talk to anyone we are all here for you." She always sounded sad when I would shut her out but she was just like Serah, I loved them too much to hurt or let them know what the _voice_ wants me to do. I struggled to go to my bed so that way I could force myself to sleep. **'Ohh don't be an outright poo just because I started to speak earlier today. Truth be told I could speak to you whenever you are awake but I normally just give you some time to relax and contemplate life.' **

"I'm not hearing you!" I said to the empty room but she knew it was directed to her. **'Fine then I'll just start practicing my singing career.'** I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep as the bitch that lived in my head began to sing 'Mangled.' Luckily enough it was a good song. As the darkness took over I was happy because I knew _she_ could never touch me in my dreams and neither could _he._

I awoke some time later; the sun had already begun to set. I could hear Serah yelling at someone. I sighed knowing full well that when there was someone here I wasn't supposed to leave my room and there was only two people who Serah yelled at her annoying boyfriend Snow or her Father but either meant that I don't want to or can't come out of my room and seeing as it is rude to eavesdrop plus I don't care about either of them.

So all I did was wait until Serah eminently would knock on my door. It was a comfort thing because if something got Serah annoyed enough to yell she would come to me. As if on cue just as I got up I heard a knock on the door or rather a heavy pound… it was _him_. I walked over and unlocked the door and pulled it open slightly to see his disgusting face. **'You know what would make yourself happy and by extension me if you just would straight up and kill him here and now.' **_'I'm not going to lie that is very tempting but mom is just behind him and she looks scared.'_

"I know we both hate each other but we need to talk so be in the living room in one minute." He said and stormed off. I looked to my mother for some sort of guidance which she always would give or at least translate from jackass to human. "Serah and a few of your friends decided something and he wants you to hear it from her because he knows you won't believe it from him and you know we both love you."

"He has a funny way of showing love then I'd hate to think how he proposed to you." I spat under my breath so she couldn't hear and followed her into the living room where Serah, Hope, Lebreau, Maqui, Yuj, Gabot, even lord block head himself Snow sat pouting in the corner and the lord of douches was nowhere to be seen. **'He probably went to go vent steam by burning something important to you meaning Serah actually yelled at both of them.'** _'I thought you were trying to practice your singing?'_

'**I was but seeing as this is important I decided that you need me to narrate to you for at least the morron plus I kinda ran out of good songs while you slept.'** "Light please sit down we need to talk." Lebreau said pointing to the open chair opposite the group. **'uhh this always spell good do you think that they may want to force you into a looney bin or maybe give you a lobotomy'** "Claire we got together and even convinced mom and dad that you need to seek some help I talked to the people your old Kendo master Auron suggested she said that she will come by in a tomorrow to talk to you to see how bad you are." Serah knew fully well that I hate it when she called me by my real name in public.

"I'm. Fine. Serah. The voice doesn't bother me all that much." **'Ahh bad Light I know your mother taught you not to lie and we both know you are because I annoy the hell out of you!' **"CLAIRE FARRON DON'T YOU DARE LIE TO ME" **'Ohh busted turns out she knows you pretty well.'** "I know she bothers you which is why there is everyone here to even if we have to force you to talk to the psych so you might as well be honest starting now Snow and dad are both told by me not to interfere unless it is life threating."

"How did you know I was lying? Plus you know I hate it when you call me that in front of people" I didn't mean to sound so angry but I despise that name because he wanted it and mom didn't think it suit me and she knows something that I don't if she knew I was lying. "Because Claire I know you intentionally shattered your arm to get drugs to shut her up for a few hours so you could function in the outside world and I don't care I'm angry at you right know there is no discussing this, the psych will come and you will tell her the truth and she will decided wither or not you need to go and seek help." How can Serah always sound so terrifying when she wanted to be stubborn, it actually scares me.

"Right well we learned a bit about Light or should I say Claire?" Lebreau said standing up. I just glared at her "Call me that again and I swear to god I will listen to the voice and slaughter all of you!" They all except Serah flinched as they realised how serious I am. "O-o-okay there Light but before we leave Serah made all of us promise that we need you to say truthfully that you will at least talk to the psych." Yuj said raising his hands to defend himself. I still love how I can make them all terrified with just a glare.

"Fine if it means I can get you all to leave I will talk to the psych but I'm not telling them everything." Serah raced up and hugged me I'm trying to fight against her hold on me but I swear when she gets all touchy feely she has incredible arm strength. "That's all I ask of you. Even Auron wants you to get better." Serah said muffled into my shirt. "Fine there I agreed now can you all leave." I said and practically ran back to my room a little safe haven in my chaotic world. I may have agreed to talk to the psych but doesn't mean I'm going to make it easy for him or her or whatever.

Not even an hour after the whole fiasco in the living room my mom poked her head into my asking me if I wanted food but I just faked being asleep. I wasn't in the mood to even see my dad and Serah right now but I wasn't going to say that to her she barely accepts the fact I loathe my dad but if I said I wasn't in the mood to see Serah I just knew she would cry and I can't handle that even if I was completely sane. Once I heard my door close I let sleep, slowly, take over again hoping it would be eternal.

**Author's Note:**

**This one will be longer then my last one but I do enjoy writing stories involving insane people even when I was doing English in school. Again let me know what you think about it**

**Timmydog Out B)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay here is chapter 2 of 'The Voice.' And I forgot to mention the song I said the voice was singing, you know 'Mangled' it is a new original song from a youtuber called Natewantstobattle. Well it is but it isn't original, he took the theme of the song from five nights at Freddy's. He is an amazing musician I suggest you give him a look.**

**As always I don't own Final Fantasy Square Enix owns it.**

Chapter 2: Patricidal Thoughts

As I awoke I grunted because now _she _started to talk. **'Oh come on now Light, by the way when you were asleep Serah left you a note on your desk.' ** "Fine and can you go back to being quite in the morning please. I don't enjoy having the urge to gouge out my eyes so I can bleed to death this early."

'**Don't be a stinker now Light, besides you could from bleeding if you just gouge your eyes out there isn't any arteries in them so your body would heal the damage and slow down the blood rushing out.'** Trying to ignore her as I walked to read the note, 'you don't need to make breakfast today Claire me and mom decided we could do it and don't forget you have a psych visit and if you try to run I'll tell Auron and he promised me he would bring you back. Teh heh.'

Ahh well at least I can relax in bed today but I don't think Auron would force me into something against my will but he would be able to guilt me into coming back. Who the hell is knocking at my door? "Lightning, your mother told me to come wake you." Was that who I thought who it was? I flung the door open to see the only guy in my life that I was close to that wasn't a complete asshole. In the door way stood my old kendo sensei in his normal red haori.

"I haven't bolted yet so you can't guilt trip me to come back!" normally I would never snap at him, why am I now. "I'm sorry sensei; I didn't mean to snap at you, I've had a lot on my mind recently." Please say he doesn't hold it against me but I may be just ever so slightly stoic, but dear god can anyone read him. Come one sensei even an eye twitch or something, anything to let me know you aren't angry.

"I'm not angry at you and both Serah and Mary didn't think you would stay the entire day so, they asked if I would stay for the day. They told me do get you to practice your kendo." He is always straight to the point but I'm hurt both mom and Serah didn't trust me enough so now I can't leave. **'You see, they just lie to you this is why everyone needs to suffer. Hey when you're out practising you can break shinai on his arm. That would teach them to trust you more.'**_ 'I can't he is the only guy that treats me with respect I could never injure him intentionally.'_

'**But you can injure yourself think your own mother and sister lied to you, you can't or rather won't want to injure them but at least hit him slightly harder then I'm sure he can take a stronger hit than anyone else you know.'** "Come or don't come. It's your decision." Why does he always have to leave like that making it seem like I have free will. I quickly followed after him. "By the way Cyril said he won't be here all day. I figure you are happy by that." Dear Etro you do exist and slightly answer my prayers not just get him into an accident and stop this fucking voice in my head. **'Ahh Light, I thought you would come to realise by now I can hear your thoughts like they were my on. Besides I bet you Auron had something to do about him not being here.'** Will she ever shut up and not try to get me to injure people, perhaps even let me enjoy this moment of pure bliss as I will not have to deal with the awful person known as my father.

Breakfast was strangely quite… I think I like it like that. No one I want to kill slowly was around. Once we were all done eating Auron took the dishes to the sink and started to wash them. "Ahh sensei you don't need to do that. I can do it." "No, as you know the code of bushido I'm supposed to help any women who need it." He always needs to be the one who helps because he thinks he is bound by bushido.

The rest of the morning was eventless Serah even refused to go into school something about her tummy suddenly hurting, but we all knew fully well that she just wanted to be with me. When Auron and I went into the dojo my dad built because Serah wanted to try kendo, the voice came back. **'come on now when you start hit him in the left shoulder really hard, I gave up with trying to get, you to break the shinai on him but at least hit him nice and hard.'** _'Fine I'll try to get the point on him but it won't be easy he is an accomplished champion fighter after all.'_

After a quick warmup we began to spar and all I could hear was **'come on a nice clean hit and I'll leave you alone for the rest of the day.'** That is always to good an option not to attempt. As I swung down, he simple let the hit connect and the shinai broke. "Do you feel better now that you could have just potently killed or maimed someone? Is it the voice telling you to injure people? Luckily enough for the both of you I've had much worse happen to me then a shinai breaking over my shoulder, but I'm sure you both realised you just sprained me shoulder." He always knew how to make me feel awful.

"I'm sorry sensei but she said she would stop for the day if I got a hit on your shoulder, but I know you could have blocked it. Why didn't you?" The only reason I was angry at him was he could have stopped it from happening very easily but he let it connect. "Simple I don't want to watch you suffer and I saw in you that determination you get when she offers that kinda of deal." He spoke calmly as he walked up and hugged me. "and if it means I have to take a small hit then so be it. Don't become like me and bottle your emotions until you snap and actually cripple someone with a hit. I was in a kind of situation like you years back. The psychiatrist I suggested helped me just promise to me you won't fight her and let her do your job… please not just for me but for everyone Fang and Zach both worry about you just as much as everyone."

We finished practicing after that. He went to go bandage up his shoulder and hide it so my mom and Serah both wouldn't see it. First chance I got I bolted to my room and locked myself in and quickly looked for my clock I bought and hid from both the bastard Cyril and myself in case I got angry enough to break the nearest object to me. Looking at the clock the analogue face read 3:45 pm.

Think when did Serah say that the psych would be here. I bet you she would know but I'd rather not know and keep my silence over knowing and her talking. I guess I think I may just attempt to sleep for a bit. I slowly drifted off to sleep sweet, sweet sleep.

I slept contently for about an hour and awoke to Serah shaking me violently awake. "Claire get up the psychiatrist is here." Ah how did she get in did I not lock my door. "I'm up Serah. How did you get in?"

"It is easy to get in when you forget to lock the door. Now get up you need to meet and talk to the psychiatrist. So do you want me to send her in here or do you want to come downstairs." She was always a good person who asked me my opinion. "Just send her in Serah." I sighed wanting to get this over with as fast as possible. With that she left the room and closed the door behind her.

In came my psychiatrist, a woman who has medium length brown hair wearing a simple white top buttoned up and was wearing a nice knee length skirt. "Hi my name is Yuna. What may I call you?" she said cheerfully. How can she be so cheerful? "Call me whatever you want? It doesn't matter does it?" what is with me today? I'm snapping at everyone. "Well I'd like to call you by your real name because it is such a pretty name, but Auron says you don't like that name to much. Only reason I ask." She still sounds so cheerful despite she probably has heard so many blood curdling stories.

"Call me Lightning or Light. How do you know sensei by the way?" she looks like some puppy who found a new loving home… something that isn't here. "Light is also pretty, but I know him because I helped him with some damage he had after his wife and daughter died of an old disease called Sin. He then turned to kendo and got extremely violent towards everyone. Even his best friend Jecht was accidently crippled by him. For the rest of the story you will have to ask him yourself."

The silence that followed her saying that was tense but I know he would never talk about that part of his life, he hates his dark past. "So Light do you mind telling me about your past. Everything will be confidential unless I fear you may harm someone or yourself." I just shrugged I know they all want to help but I hate Cyril and talking about my past. She must have sensed this. "Tell you what I'll tell you something about myself if you talk to me about yourself." I just nodded letting her know it was an alright deal. "I'll even start. I come from a small but prospers village. My father was both the local priest and leader of the village. Okay now it's your turn it can be anything about yourself."

What could I possibly say, that my dad is an outright douche who I'm sure if he died I would be the only one at his funeral who wouldn't cry hell I'd be smiling. "I'm the eldest out of two children and I despise my dad, I also hear a voice but she promised to shut up for the day. Now your turn." I didn't mean to sound violent and cold but I just don't want to talk about this. "Well okay I have no siblings and I loved my dad because my mom died giving birth to me so they were the only family I had, but when I turned fifteen my dad sadly took his own life. The note he left said he was never able to be truly happy after my mother passed because I always reminded him of her. So for the next three years I stayed with a close friend's family. Now tell me about your father or the voice."

I sighed I did promise Auron I'd let her do her job. "My dad is the esteemed writer Cyril Farron but what people don't know is he mentally abused me for years only reason he stopped recently was because the voice got louder and specifically want me to harm him, I'm not going to lie I have thought about going with it but Serah is my constant voice of reason. A few months ago I listened to the voice and punched my sister's boyfriend repeatedly but she stepped in the way and I broke her collarbone. Her boyfriend was in ICU for two months and I locked myself in here." I said gesturing around the room. "I was fine with her boyfriend being in pain but when I hit Serah I couldn't take it and the voice grew even louder when Serah was in the hospital. Since then she has begun targeting Serah."

'**Aww you paid attention all this time. I'm so touched now punch this bitch come on a nice hit to the face.'** "NO YOU SAID YOU WOULD BE QUITE FOR THE REST OF THE DAY IF I INJURED HIM!" Yuna must have felt something off. Not sure how it could be me shrinking and running my hands through my hair in a panic or pounding my head. "Come on now calm down. Talk to me not her please Light." When did she grab my wrists, did she always sound this calming, why does she care? she probably just wants the credit for helping Cyril's trouble child. "Now please tell me who did you injure to get her to stay quite?" Why does she have a pleading look on her face I'm almost compelled to answer.

"She wanted me to injure sensei during training, but sensei knew what she wanted and let the hit connect." I could feel the tears starting to build up. All I could feel her arms wrap around me and pull me into a nurturing hug and rocking back and forth whispering "don't worry Auron has felt much worse pain then one of his students hitting him. Don't worry." The tears I could no longer hold back ran free down my cheeks and onto her clothes. Why did she care so much all I am is a pay check to her. Hell why am I saying so much sensitive information to her?

I was in her arms for a while no less than an hour the tears stopped long ago but she still held onto me. "I have to go talk to your mother right now do you want to come with me because I'm at liberty to ask you because it concerns how I want to advance your treatment." I nodded while still hiding my face not wanting anyone to see how weak I've been. Weak enough to succumb to my emotions, we walked out of my room and down the stairs where I could see my sister pacing and Auron talking to my mom.

"Oh my gods, Claire are you alright?" Serah said rushing and pushed Yuna out of the way to hug me. She must have seen my face all puffy and my bloodshot eyes. "Serah she is fine but Auron I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room for a few minutes I have to talk to Mrs Farron and can you take Lightning's little sister." "No she can stay can't she?" I asked with pleading eyes and Yuna sighed and said "alright."

As Auron walked past he put his arm on my shoulder and gave me a reassuring squeeze. He closed the door and Yuna waited a few minutes for us to take a seat. "I fear that it may be dangerous to leave your daughter in the outside world right now. From my talk with her she only has remorse for a select few. Most of which are here right now. I suggest she heads to the Yevon institute, it specialises in these kinds of cases. It isn't some kind of mental institution; it works to help people like Lightning there. I'm meant to ask you and your husband if how you want to proceed but seeing as he isn't here and from our conversation there is some hate between the two I'm asking you two."

My mom was speechless; I don't think she thought this was how it was going to go. Neither did I. "I'd need to consult my husband. How much of a threat is she exactly?" "either way I don't want to go, I don't want to leave Serah to that monster."

"As I said previously she only feels sympathy for a select few you, your other daughter and Auron where all she mentioned but seeing as she already injured two of them one was intentional I don't think it will be much longer before she kills someone. You don't have to make the decision now, but I'd need one by the end of the week as it is a daylong car ride there I'm staying in town for a few days to assess a few more cases then I'm leaving. The sooner I have your answer the better." She still had the same calm and collected tone but now it had a tone of urgency in it.

"We will talk about it as soon as we can is that all Ms Yuna?" she asked but sounded slightly angry. "Yes it will I shall be taking my leave now. Bye Auron." She said through the door. And then back to us "Good bye and I hope to hear from you soon." She said and left through the front door closing it gingerly.

**Author's Note:**

**Okay so here is chapter 2 I kinda like making Auron seem like a martyr and a mentor at the same time but I will introduce more of the final fantasy but I like where this is going let me know what you think. Until the next Chapter,**

**Timmydog Out B)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Le gasp two chapters in one day what can possible be the reason well simple I won't upload one tomorrow because where I work are having their Christmas party and the waitress' haven't given me a choice about going or not so yay. Same as always I don't own Final Fantasy Square Enix owns it I just write fan fiction to express creativity via the lazy option and have the character's already thought of.**

**Kirika as for you it may seem rushed because this is all done on improv. I have a vague idea where I want the chapters to go and let the rest flow naturally from my experience with homicidal thoughts and a younger sister who care too much to admit.**

Chapter 3: Violent Outbursts

"I don't care dad, all you want to do is ship her off and hope you won't ever get guilt tripped by me or mom to go see her." Why did Serah always have to fight with him about her? All I was doing was sitting in the corner twiddling my thumbs personally I would be glad if I never had to see him. "SERAH THIS DOES NOT CONCERN YOU SO PLEASE GO TO YOUR ROOM." That was the first time he ever raise his voice.

'**Oh he shouldn't of done dat I think she may start to cry. Oh wait does that mean you'll hit him… now that I think about it I'd get to see both Serah cry and you'd listen to me twice in one day. Oh come on just one hit.' **I'm not sure when but during the voice's rant Serah stormed off and I pulled my knees up to my chin. She always knew how to tempt me but knew I would rarely listen, every time I did she got louder and more persistent hell she was pretty loud then I told Auron sensei and she died down a bit.

"Look Claire I know we hate each other and don't get me wrong as soon as I get a chance I will ship you there but if I don't fake a conversation she will be in my ear for the next few months so speak up and say you want to go now." How does he always make me seem like the bad person, Serah knows once he made his mind even if I didn't want to. "Oh but I do so I can get away from you and the only problem is ME having to leave SERAH and MOM but the difference is I'd actually want them to visit." Did he just scoff at that what is he planning?

"So turns out trash can agree with what humans want. Haha so at least that means when everyone wants me to visit I can say the Bitch that takes my house for granted doesn't want me too, good to know." We does he always have to act like that even if I didn't have a voice in my head I would hands down attempt to kill him. "That 'Bitch' you referred to is your own daughter and go ahead if I had to see you more than necessary I would quite possibly kill everyone there and then myself but now that I think about it that would make you happy so I would right before I would due myself in I would write your atrocities in blood on the wall. Most of which would make the purge Dysley ordered seem like just a small hiccup in a good man's past." How do we always get political in are arguments this is normally around the time he says how I was an accident then storm off and I would run up to my room.

Then on cue he did just that and I followed suit. The major difference was Serah knocking on my door. I opened the door slowly to see her holding two cups of what I assume hot coco. She pushed her way in past me. "No Serah come in please." The sarcasm in my voice was so thick you could cut it with a knife. "Please Claire no sarcasm right now I even made you some hot coco with little marshmallows. I just want to talk."

How does everyone know how to play me but in fairness mid spring or not hot coco is good. I took the cup and sat down on my bed and began to nurse the cup. "What is it that you want to talk about Serah?" **'Probably that not she doesn't want you to go blah blah blah. Then she hugs you and starts to cry but we both know you have already made up your mind and I kind of agree with your old man, you two do agree on something besides your hate towards eachother.'**_ 'Fuck off right now Serah is clearly distressed and if you speak again I'm just going to ignore you.'_

"Claire you probably already guessed this but, please, please, please don't go I don't want you to suffer." Why does the pouty face have to be necessary? I've already made up my mind. "I'm already suffering Serah she gets louder and more of her hate is directed at you. I can't be around you most times because she gets creative because you keep her semi quite, but if this gets rid of her entirely I will gladly go." Did the pouty face just grow? How is that possible?

"Look Serah I promise I will write and call you as much as I can same with mom but I just ask you don't bring lord douchenstein with you when you visit. Please… for me." Wow how did I get my way even when she was doing that annoying pouty face, I've got to remember that… whatever it was. "Fine Claire but you better not break that promise or I will get that nice Lady Yuna to force you to. You know how I can get people to do stuff like that." How can she say it so cheerfully, the world would be screwed if she ever became a politician or worse a lawyer. Luckily enough she wants to be a teacher.

We talked for what seemed like a few hours but Serah was getting tired so she left my room with the two cups I closed the door and that began the count down. Two more days until I would join Yuna returning to the Yevon institute or something like that.

The next day nothing happened. Some old friends who just heard I was slowly losing my grip on sanity. Mainly because they were never in school to begin with hell I'm surprised that Terra, Locke and even Celes even heard because I can count how many times they were in before I was out because I feared how I may cause them harm. So they stopped by and said their farewells. All be it most of the time Locke and Celes were locked in a fierce battle of the tongues. It did however bring a smile to my face seeing all my old friends for the last time for a while it was a simple gesture but a nice one all the same.

The day after that was the day I head away, far away from this psychological torture known as my family. Normally I would wake up naturally, today was different. The ever growing bane of my existence known as my father pulled my blankets from me and dumped a bucket of ice cold water on me. "Fuck was that for you dick!?" Normally I wouldn't scream at him but that was not even remotely an appropriate way to wake anyone up. So I gave in and fed the fire.

"I was told to wake you up and I wasn't in the mood to deal with it slowly so I chose fast way. Get up, get changed you are leaving my presence in two hours enjoy what time you can get." He always stated coldly. Or at least saved all his cold and bitter thoughts solely for me, but for once I couldn't care. I knew I wouldn't have to hear his poisonous thoughts for a long time. So I did as I was told for once without needing to be fought. I got out of bed took off my wet clothes and pulled out a simple outfit of a pink top and a pair of jeans. I already had the stuff I considered important as per Yuna's instructions when my mom called and said that I would go with her.

It wasn't much packed, a few worldly objects that I was given as gifts and a few pictures of me and Serah and our Friends, the final one being of my mother with Serah and me in her arms. My favourite picture because it held my idea of a happy family, a caring family. All of that fit into one bag the other bag was filled with some clothes of mine. As I went through the bag of my possessions I noticed a letter there that must have been but there by Serah she always had to use that type of delicate paper. I opened it and began to read.

_Dear Big Sis,_

_Please don't forget about your promise to me about writing and calling but also don't forget me and mom both love you dearly and only hope that you get better soon and despite what his actions says and what he says Daddy loves you too._

I couldn't help but laugh whole heartedly at that last line and if Serah heard it she would quite possible attempt to kill me. Curious to read further I did just that.

_I know you are probably laughing at that last part but it is true. I also know due to your OCD you needed to check the case before you even leave your room so if you are just stifle your laughter a bit I don't want to hear you laughing at the truth! I'm sure you are wondering the point of this letter it is a reminder that I want you to take with you that you are there to get better and despite what anyone says I will always be there for you, if you need someone to talk to I will be over there as fast as I can to talk with you no matter what the subject is even if it is something you don't want to discuss with the staff. I will try to convince mom to take me there every other week so you aren't too shocked to be away from me._

_Yours sincerely, your baby sis Serah_

I raised my hand to wipe away a tear I didn't even realise I had shed then it hit me I may be leaving but that is the thing I'm also leaving Serah. **'Aww turns out you do have feelings and it is brought on by that heart touching gesture from your sister, AND that makes me sick burn it or something.' **I just continue ignoring her and gingerly folded it back up and put it back where I found it. I know in the months to come I will need it for strength.

As I walked down stairs to see the bastard, the blockhead, my mom, Serah, Yuna and Auron all were waiting for me to come downstairs to start breakfast. Yuna was the first to break the silence with a cheerful "Hello Light," I just nodded to signify the implied hi back at her. The question that was on my mind wasn't even why my sister's mentally challenged boyfriend was here clearly it was to help Serah through this time, but it was why sensei was here he hated my dad just as much as I do.

"Yuna asked me to come along to help you adjust besides I have friends who live in the area I haven't seen for a while. I owe them a visit soon anyways." Still always to the point I see but what never ceases to amaze me is the fact he can read my mind and always knows somehow what _she_ wants. "Let's dig in." I'm glad Serah said it two at the table I'm just a small nudge away from beating them into a coma and only sensei will be able to pull me off.

It was a joyous quiet meal, until the lord of awful parent's had to speak. "So are you just going to do a lobotomy or are you going to just drug her into a stupor." Yuna was flabbergasted and was stuttering something incoherent. How was this, the same calm collected woman who was here just days previously? Auron just said dryly "don't talk about her like she is a lost cause if anything that would be a much worse reflection on you and bad parenting."

It was the bastards turn to mutter under his breath only loud enough for me to hear him "But she is a lost cause." I couldn't take it any more I stood up and calmly paced around the table and slowly once I reached him began to punch him. It was bliss even if they did drug me I want to remember this feeling. All he did was block his face. Auron got up and held me back once I got a few punches in. "SO sorry Mary but as you can see we need to get going. Oh and Cyril I heard what you muttered be glad she got to you before I did because I wouldn't stop tell I heard some bones breaking." I never saw this sadistic side of sensei, the side that earned him the title of the demon's second coming in his professional matches, truthfully I was even more glad I got my punches in because at least someone could hold me back.

As Auron began dragging me out he pushed me aside and said "I don't care if she told you to or not but be glad I'm here, did you not hear Serah screaming at you to stop?" "What, Sensei Serah was screaming? I-I-I didn't hear but you heard what he said I couldn't control myself sorry and she didn't I've been trying to ignore her. It seems to be pissing her off." **'Damn right it is pissing me off but watching his face as you got those hits in, I think you broke his nose or dare I say it his jaw. Ohh I'm getting excited just thinking about him trying to explain that to the hospital staff.'**

Yuna came out holding a rag with drops of blood on it. "Auron can you get her bags, I'll stay out here with her and then we can go."

"Okay Yuna, Light where are your bags?" he is still able to sound so assured but I can see him trembling a bit must be a bad memory. "Just inside my room sensei there should be two bags." He let go and walked back inside the house.

"I hope you know you can't do that where you are going. You broke his jaw and his wrist and he is bleeding a lot." How on earth can this woman be flustered one second and so strict the next? "I know but he has been intentionally been getting under my skin the last few days. I swear Dysley and Jihl where better people."

Just after I said that Serah came storming out "CLAIRE FARRON YOU BETTER PROMISE ME YOU WONT DO THAT AT THE YEVON INSTITUTE! OR SO HELP ME WHICH EVER DEITY YOU LIKE WONT BE ABLE TO SAVE YOU FROM MY WRATH!" dear merciful Etro I have never been scared before in my life.

"Serah calm down it is okay I'm not going to go off the handle like that and you know I hate it when you call me by that name when people are around." Trying to calm her down is like trying to calm an alpha male king behemoth down after you failed an attempt at castrating him.

"CALM DOWN! YOU BROKE HIS JAW AND WRIST. HELL IF AURON WASN'T THERE YOU MAY HAVE PUT HIM INTO INTENSIVE CARE SO HELP ME IF I EVEN HEAR A RUMOR ABOUT YOU DOING THAT I WILL MAKE YOU WISH YOU DID LISTEN TO THE VOICE AND KILL US ALL!" I could visibly see Yuna shrinking like she was terrified for her life, but she shouldn't be. Serah's anger was directed at me, and unlike me she always has full control of her anger. Come on Auron hurry up and get out here with my bags so I can avoid any form of violence from Serah because she knows I can never intentionally hurt her.

Auron came out holding my bags, saved by sensei. "Hey Serah if you want to get a hit on her do it know because as soon as she can she is going to try to get out of this." And just like that cursed by sensei's sense of justice and his bushido code. Serah came up and hit me half-heartedly, pounding my chest. "I don't want to hear my big sister needed to be sedated because she got into a fight so promise me you won't hurt anyone." On a brighter note she did seem to calm down a bit.

"I promise, now we need to go because I'm sure Snow and Mom are holding him inside until we leave because they think I may hit him again, and from both yours and Yuna's description he needs to go to the hospital." I said hugging her. I knew this would be the hardest part but we both knew it wasn't a final good-bye. As I got into the Yuna's car I could see Serah cry and waving franticly good-bye, which is when I started to sob quietly and waved back. Once we left my old family house I turned around and let my feelings take over and sobbed myself to sleep inside the back seat of Yuna's car.

**Author's Note:**

**Don't you just love an angry Serah and a tearful good bye? As for the violence you all should now mental abuse and trauma is far worse than physical because as the body will heal itself over and over again the mind can't, the mind needs help but you have to want to help yourself first. So after leaving of on that philosophical note I hope you all enjoy the rest of your day, or night or whenever you are reading this, but remember Good-byes are forever we just say farewells until then.**

**Timmydog Out B)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay I'm back writing and I gotta say the last author's note got me kind thinking, it is deep as hell and I don't want it to be deep thus far. So for all of our sanity I don't plan to be that deep for at least a chapter or two.**

**Time for the obligatory disclaimer I do not own Final Fantasy Square Enix does.**

Chapter 4: Voice of Reason

I awoke a few hours later with a stiff neck. I have no idea how long I've been asleep but the sun was near the end of its daily celestial journey. "So Yuna, you weren't joking saying it is a long journey." Somehow I'm happy despite the fact I'm Etro knows how far away from Serah. "yeah and we are going to stop off at the next town for the night because the road we need is prone to behemoth and ifirt crossings and they are nocturnal and can easily crush us I'm not taking the chance."

How is she able to make death seem so cheery, it is kind of terrifying? "We still have a whole half an hour until we get there though." Then it hit me Auron was awfully quite. I leaned forward a bit and notice he had look of bliss on his face. "Auron just fell asleep don't worry Light." **'I'm bored Light let's talk like we use to you know? Oh let's play a game I'm going to try and diagnose what form of sanity I lack and be extension you. Okay I have a slight Neapolitan complex and I am a slight megalomaniac. I've been told I'm slightly narcissistic but I don't see it.' **

"Oh my fucking Etro just shut up!" Yuna slightly jumped at my outburst but then realised it wasn't directed at her. **'Oh my you said shut up to me. I do matter and you can hear me. If I had arms I'd hug you.'** I can hear the grin in her voice. The rest of the trip to the town was uneventful, Auron woke up when I had my outburst, and I've never seen someone go from happiness to emotionless in a split second.

When we got to the hotel we would be staying at Auron bought us two rooms because he refused to stay in a room with two women something about his bushido code but I call bullshit but I'm not going to call him out on it. When Yuna and I got settled into the room he left and I went to get a shower. When I got out Yuna decided she wanted to talk.

"What do you want to talk about?" I'm not trying to be rude but I am curious to know why she wants to talk. "Well I want to know some more about you and if you don't mind what did she say no make you shout earlier." Does she always have mood changes like that? Granted they weren't bad mood changes, she would go from cheerful to serious… unlike mine I would go from happy around Serah and as soon as she leaves I become cold and poisonous… or at least that is what others say.

"I'm sorry Yuna… I don't like talking about myself for most length of times. Serah says it is a stupid move on my part but I just don't feel comfortable doing it. As for what was causing me to yell earlier she wanted me to acknowledge her then went about diagnosing herself with different psychological disorders." Did Yuna just nod? What was there in what I said to acknowledge that required a nod?

"Light, I've noticed a few things in the time we have known each other. One you always place yourself below your Sister, two you constantly want to talk about your sister because you believe she is more worth it and three you never say the voice's name. Do you know her name, does she have one?" I just shrugged. Truth be told I couldn't care if that bitch had a name.

"I never thought to ask her, and personally I don't think she will tell me she is in a massive bitchy mood because I won't play her games." **'My name is Lumina thank you for asking and I'm not in a bitchy mood because you won't play, I'm in a bitchy mood because you promised Serah you would call and if I tell you to do something to her you will give me the silent treatment again.'**

"She just said her name is Lumina and that she isn't in a bitchy mood because I won't play with her it is because she doesn't want the silent treatment again." Why is it whenever I talk about her I just snap at everyone who is close to me? "Light, you are aware that sometimes when people hear voices, the voice is a reflection of themselves? I think you fall under that category. When you talk about yourself, you always belittle yourself and when you do you look like you are hurting yourself every time. Sort of like a child who has their conscience eating at them because they did something wrong and got away with it from a lie."

Why does she always sound concerned about me? More importantly why do I always feel comfortable talking about stuff I don't even tell Serah, let alone anyone? "Why are you so concerned about me? I'm just a useless bitch who can't help anyone let alone myself." I didn't mean to say that. I probably just hurt her feelings. Quickly as I could I diverted my gaze. "I'm concerned because you always talk down about yourself." She walked up and hugged me.

"And you are not as you say 'a useless bitch.' That kind of thinking is just proving all who doubt you right. Which despite what you may think from our experience at breakfast is a single person." I am I not trying to struggle harder against her hug, I could easily over power her, but I just can't break out of this hug. She pulled back a bit to stare into my eyes. "Why don't you tell me about your father?" "He is a famous writer that hates me but loves my sister and is an outgoing family man." I dryly stated.

"No that is not what I mean. If I wanted that I would spend five seconds on the internet. I want _you_ to tell me about him." How have I not made it clear I get angry every time I think about his ugly smug face? "He is an outright dick that despises me and goes out of his way to make me feel like I was never meant to happen. He actually threatened me a few times of giving me to Dysley before he got caught. Whereas Serah he adores, she says jump he says how hi? I should probably hate her for being his favourite but she has done nothing but been concerned for me when Auron told her I was hear a voice."

That look on her face… I've heard of people giving that look, but what was it. Greif… no, concern… maybe but she has shown me more than enough of that. What was it? Then it hit me she was purely sympathetic and mixed with an apologetic look like she was sorry for what my dad had put me through. "Do you want some hot chocolate? I've been told I make some nice hot chocolate. Clearly you are uneasy about talking about that right now so I won't push you."

"Will you put little mini marshmallows in it?" I probably looked pathetic. "Can you have hot chocolate without them? I'll take that as a yes you want some come on I'll make you some." No one hasn't made me hot coco except Serah. Serah once said if the can make a good cup of hot coco they can't be an awful person and it always made me think how bad of a cup my old man would make. Mud would probably be tastier.

"Yuna, do you mind if I ask about your friends?" Again I must look absolutely pathetic. "No, I don't mind. Let's see here I have a friend who is like the opposite of me but she has a pretty doll collection and her name is Lulu. I have a cousin who I learned about not too long ago but she loves to tinker with machines her name is Riku. I have a friend that is a professional blitzballer and always tries to get with Lulu and named Waka, and then I have the most beautiful boyfriend who like Waka plays professional blitzball and volunteers at the institution I work for. He does hate playing blitzball because everyone compares him to his dad Jecht, but Tidus is just to pretty for me to care about his clear daddy issues." They sound nice… wait did she say Jecht as in the shining star of Zanarkand. The man who was best friends with Auron, the one who caused Auron to seek help because he injured him.

"Yes Light, that Jecht." Holy crap I didn't even notice him. Oh my god is he drinking hot coco out of a pink mug, somehow he is still able to make that terrifying. "I like hot chocolate. Get over it and don't forget if you say this to anyone they won't believe you." Again still able to read my mind and make it intimidating.

Did he just down a fifth glass of it he wasn't joking when he said he liked hot coco. Shortly after he drank another cup he left and we went to bed. The dream I had was unsettling I was in a field of corpses and me holding the bloody knife and no matter how much I ran I couldn't get away. Then I found Serah still alive saying "Why… big… sis… why… did… you… stab…me?" and then she died in my arms.

**Author's Note:**

**Okay so this chapter is shorter than the last 3 but I had less of a muse for this particular part but I wanted to make Auron come off as a big softy who would wear pink fuzzy slippers and sips hot coco and just doesn't give a flying fuck about anything like gender stereotypes. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter and like always let me know what you think.**

**Timmydog Out B)**


	5. update

**Okay guys sorry to admit it but I have seem to have lost my muse for this story. I have tried a few times to force the ideas to come for the newest chapter but I just keep coming up dry and I can testify that the current drafts are sub-par and I just can't in good conscience upload it. Once I find the lustrously rare muse I will make it regret me finding it because I will work it in one go and finish the story. Until then I hope of you that stay and want to know what will happen don't let up on pushing me because I have the habit if I'm not pushed I will give up and the story will never end and I just can't do that to you nice people. Again I'm so sorry for this. Until the next chapter **

**Timmydog Out B)**


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